Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
