i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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