The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
