tell your sister to shave her snatch
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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