I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
