This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
