but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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