I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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