Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
