Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
