covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
she looked like the before picture.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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