where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
