turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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