And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
