pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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