i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
