I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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