you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
