Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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