he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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