First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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