She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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