Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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