Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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