What did we do last night that was yellow?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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