If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize