I should be sponsored by Trojan
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize