how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
