I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
