I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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