I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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