Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just had sex on a roof
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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