So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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