Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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