You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
