I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
