and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
