We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
one might say we're banned from that church
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize