where am i from again
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I think your dad took our porno
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize