Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I love you. Go after that dick
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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