ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
