went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
