Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
