she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
