He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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