Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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