I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
