he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
