if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
