you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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