Ambien. No doubt about it.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
