There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
