i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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