do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize