I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize