I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
