Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
