Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
