It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
