She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
