dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
