man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Fuck appropriateness.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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