well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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