We won't sleep together?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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