i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
