You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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