dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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