I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize