You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
