obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
how does that bad decision feel?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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