He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
